Adventures of a male witch
by MikeyLovesIcecreamKitty
Summary: A guy wakes up to not only find out he's a special infected, but he is also a witch! He meets many friends, some enimeis, and LOTS of idiots and/or annoying people.
1. Chapter 1

Paste your document here...

 **Disclaimer: I do not own left 4 dead! Valve does!**

Chapter one

 _Running._ I had been running that fateful day. Running from a witch. I ran down an alley with an opening at the top, thinking that I could get away from her. No such luck. As I was climbing over the wall, she leaped up and grabbed me. I struggled, trying to get away, but the effort was in vain. She bit me. Right on my face. Then, the strangest thing happened. She left. I had been expecting her to rip me apart, but for whatever reason, she didn't. Shocked, I just sat there for a while. Finally, I got up and decided to find some shelter. I held my hand to my cheek where she bit me, and reality sank in. I was bitten, and now I was gonna turn into a zombie. I started to sob. "Hey, Jean, what happened?", my twin brother, and my best friend, Jake asked. Jake hates zombies, because they killed our parents, and our little sister, Michelle. He has vowed to kill any zombie, or infected person he meets, no matter what.

 _Surely he wouldn't kill me, right?_ , I thought.

I turned around. Jake gasped when he saw my face.

"What happened? Did you get bit?", he asked with panic in his voice. I nodded solemnly.

"I'm sorry I have to do this, man.", he said with tears in his eyes. He pulled out his gun.

Suddenly, a large tongue wrapped around him, and flung him over a building. That was when the burning started. It started at my face, where I was bitten, and traveled down my toes. I screamed in pain, both mentally and physically. _Jake tried to kill me._ , I thought. I couldn't believe it. This had to be a nightmare. It just had to be. But it wasn't. I blacked out.

I awoke to a tumor and boiled face peering down at me. Startled, I let out a gasp. "Well that was rude, considering I just saved your butt back there.", said a rough, yet feminine voice with an Australian accent . I couldn't help but stare. "Why don't ya take a picture, it will last longer.", she said. "My names Alice, now get up, we need to hunt.", she said with a grin. I said nothing in reply. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue? I told you my name, now tell me yours. Its only polite.", she said with a little annoyance in her voice. "Sorry, but… Why are you talking to me? I mean, you're infected…", I said. I was shocked, I could communicate in words that others could understand. I hadn't been able to do that for a year now, since that hunter took a swipe at me, and damaged my voice box. I then came to the conclusion that zombies could understand each other, and, even though when we spoke it sounded like words to us, all the survivors heard were grunts and growls."What do you mean, you're infected too. Although I must say, I've never seen a male witch before." She handed me a mirror. I gasped. My normally black hair was now almost white. My once blue eyes now glowed yellow. And instead of normal fingers, I had claws. I put the mirror down, and started to cry again. I felt like a monster. As if reading my thoughts, Alice said "Don't worry, you'll get used to it eventually." I sighed, and put the mirror down. "I guess so….", I said. "Come on, let's go hunt." Alice gave me a sympathetic smile. As if hunting would make me feel better. I was hungry, but not for human flesh. I was more hungry for something…. Sugary. Alice was walking out the door, when she stopped, and seemed to remember something. "Oh yes, witches like sugar. There's a convenience store down the next block. I'll meet you back here, and we'll go to my place. But, I can't take care of you forever, so after a week or two, you'll need to find somewhere else to stay.", she said. I just nodded, never looking from the ground as I did so. She looked concerned. "You know, witches are pretty known for being sad all the time. Don't let that over power you, you can fight it, but don't forget who you are in the process.", she said. I gave her the best smile that I could muster. "Thanks." She then used her tongue to pull herself up on a telephone pole, and jump onto a nearby building. Meanwhile, I searched for that convenience store. I was walking down to the convenience store, when I heard the voices of survivors. "Come on, Macy, we have to find the safe house.", a male voice said. "Okay, calm down Jarod.", said a female voice. Her voice was annoying me. I let out a warning growl. "Uh-oh, there's a witch. We'd better be quiet. Wait, is that a male witch?" said Jarod. I turned around to face them, and let out another warning growl. "Yep, that witch is definitely a male. Wow, I've never seen a male one before." Said this Jarod guy. These people were stupid. Jarod started moving closer to me. Yep, definitely stupid. "Hold up Jarod.", Macy said, holding out her arm to keep him from coming closer. "What? I just want to get a closer look at him.", said Jarod.

"Don't you get it? That thing is dangerous."

Maybe she wasn't that stupid after all.

Suddenly, there was a loud, piercing shriek. It hurt my ears. Snarling, I whirled around to face the noise. It was a hunter. Angry, I tried to scratch him with my claws. I missed.

"Cool! Monster fight!", cheered Jarod.

"Come on, idiot, let's get out of here.", said Macy.

With that they ran off.

I turned back to the hunter and growled.

"What do you want?", I hissed at him.

"I want food!", he yelled back.

"Well, if you were trying to eat those humans, you shouldn't screech like that. It's dumb, and it gives away your position. Plus, it hurts my ears." I said.

"Whatever.", the hunter replied.

"Hey, do you know where I could find something else to eat? I'm still hungry, and, because of you, my prey has escaped.", he said.

What? This guy was blaming this on me? " _Its official. Everyone is idiots around here, except Alice and I, and maybe that female survivor"._ , I thought.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the hunter waving his hand in front of my face. He must have been talking to my while I zoned out.

"Hellooooo? Anyone home?", he asked.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something.", I told him.

"That's fine, I was just saying, maybe we should head to my house to see if we could find something to eat.", he said with a smile. This guy wanted me to come with him? "No offense, but I don't know you.", I said.

"Okay, well just come by whenever you feel like it."

This guy thought we were friends? He didn't even tell me his name, let alone give me his address. I didn't say anything, and instead continued on to the convenience store.

AN: This is my first fanfic, and I would appreciate constuctive critisism and advice, but please, no flames.


	2. Chapter two: Sweets and confrontations

Disclaimer: I don't own left 4 dead

When I got to the store, I ran inside as fast as I could. I was excited to get to the sweets, and drool was dripping down my chin. When I got in, I grabbed a shopping bag and started filling it up as much as I could. I got Twix, Hershey's , Reeses, Butterfingers, and KitKats. As you can tell, I like chocolate. I also got some Dum Dums, but I refused to get any bubble gum. I hate bubble gum. Next, I got foods that were just sweets. I got honey buns, cookies, cakes, and oatmeal cream pies. Then, I got a few extra bags to hold my drinks. I got Dr. Pepper, Coke, Sprite, Mountain Dew, and Pepsi. Satisfied, I turned to leave. That's when I saw it. A slushy machine. And, unfortunately, there was a hunter right next to it. It heard me and turned around. Once it did, I was shocked. She was a girl. Now, I know I shouldn't be shocked, because I AM a guy witch. But, what were the chances of a guy witch and a girl hunter meeting at the same store, in the same boring town? "What's your name?", I called out. But, she was gone. How did she disappear so fast? I shrugged and got myself a cherry slushy. I now had an idea of where I would live once I had to leave Alice.

On the way home, I felt a familiar tounge wrap itself around my waist. or, at least I thought it was familiar.

It wasn't.

I looked to see a smoker who looked to be about in his sixties or late fifties, and who also had a MAJOR beer belly. His eyes were clouded over. _"Is he drunk?",_ I thought to myself. Either way, he looked extremely angry. I looked around to see what he was mad about. There was a squirrel behind me. _"Really?"_ ,I thought. The squirrel didn't look appetizing at all. In fact, I was pretty sure it had rabies, judging from the foam coming from its mouth. Then, this guy decided to throw me. _That_ made me mad. I got up with a screech, and drove my claws through his skull. _"Revenge is sweet.",_ I thought to myself. It was even sweeter than the slushy that was now spilt on the ground.

AN: Thanks for the great reviews, they really made my day! Please rate this chapter. Was it good, horrible? Tell me what you think, but again, no flames.


End file.
